The Family Is Growing Away From Yesterday

A Grandmothers Heart to be remembered

Life is interesting. It’s amazing with all its twists and turns; its storms and winds and sun shining days.

As one ages; the lessons that one has learned seep into the consciousness in a way like never before.

When we are young, we want to hurry and grow up to that ripe age of 18, then 21, then 30. Then one day, on this amazing journey we start to look back at those ages and wonder, where have the years gone?

Those years as we approach our 50’s then 60’s etc.; we remember things differently. Our children grow up and start their own lives and their own friendships; their own circles and bonds. We don’t quite know when it happened but suddenly, it hits us that they don’t need us anymore… not like they used to.

How many times have we said, I can’t wait until you are grown and on your own? Now the time is here. They are off to college or leaving home with room rates, moving into their first apartment, their own job and now they live life, by those internal lessons plans that they have been taught, by you the parents, their friends, teachers, music and tv idols; their neighborhood, their church or non church relationships.

And suddenly, there’s this hole in your gut. You never noticed it before. But suddenly this hollow feeling swells and tears form in your eyes. Suddenly, this sadness is overwhelming. It’s finally hit your consciousness that my baby is not a baby anymore. I have to “let go” and if I am a believer, it really is time to “let God.”

You find that you have survived this experience with your own children, now, (if you are so blessed to see them grow up to adulthood); come the grandchildren. Your own children will now know what you went through with them. Funny how that is, should life continue, your children will come to know what you came to know years ago. You come to know that they truly are a part of you. It’s hard to let go of the reins. This is surprising even to you. After all, you lived for this day, when they would grow up and move out of the house and start taking responsibility for themselves. Until now, it never dawned on us that taking care of them was the “joy” of our lives. We lived for them, taught them, served them and guided them as best we knew how to become their own person. Now the time has arrived.

Children grow up and move away to a life of their own, and it is us, the parents, grandparents which must accept that fact. After all our own lives are changing everyday. As we age, we gain insight as to what is important and what is not. We are more in tune to happiness and sadness. We yearn for that family tie in a way that we never have before, but knowing all to well that it is slipping slowly away and one day, it will be gone altogether except for the memories.

There comes a time in each senior citizens’ life where we become the spectators of an age that has past us. We can only hope that we have imparted good will and good examples for our young to follow. We move on now with our new experiences and baggage.

Some of us age gracefully, some not so graceful. Some of us experience more physical ailments than others, some of us withdraw and stop living life in the active lane. Some of us join senior centers to keep us engaged and encouraged. Some end up in nursing facilities, and some with relatives, but either way, life is not the same anymore. We long for the days gone by.

But, since we can’t go back, at least not physically, we have but one hope… look toward tomorrow for it is just one step closer to eternity. We pray that our loved ones will remember us kindly and keep us on their radar. For as we go into this new place where many others have gone before, we don’t quite know what to expect but we do know that we want to stay connected to those we love.

To all our loved ones… don’t let us slip away, find time for us, for one day, should you continue to live, you will be where we are and you will want what we want and that is to stay connected to those you love, to those you have raised and cared for. Live your life but keep a place in it for us. Consider it as sowing seeds for your date with destiny.

By: Marci Tilghman Bryant

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Posted in Blog.